


Narncore

by LondonKdS



Category: Babylon 5, Crusade
Genre: Gen, Interspecies Sex, Pre-Canon, Xenophilia, implied prostitution, in-universe porn, same-franchise crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-10
Updated: 2007-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25556251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonKdS/pseuds/LondonKdS
Summary: A mostly-respectable diplomat and a mostly-respectable archaeologist collide over a shared sexual fetish





	Narncore

**Author's Note:**

> Set pre-show for ''Crusade'' and during S1 for ''Babylon Five''.

Max looked about him nervously. Downbelow on Babylon 5 was not the place for a middle-class academic, even one on his way to be thoroughly corrupted by commerce. The excitement and arousal of anticipation was diminishing, replaced by the deep and craven fear of getting stabbed. The man ahead of him looked around and slunk away, leaving empty space between him and the vendor behind a suitcase full of datacrystals. He was about to step towards the skinny man in the oversized trenchcoat when he was barged aside by a large Narn moving at full power.

Max had studied historical Narn culture, or what little remains of it had escaped the Centauri colonisation and turned up on Earth, but he knew relatively little of the modern state. However, he knew enough to notice the rich clothing of his interrupter. The Narn flourished a datacrystal directly in front of the vendors eyes and declared "This is an insult!" The vendor attempted to look confused. The Narn demanded "You are the purveyor of this rubbish?"

The vendor looked as imposing as he could. "Now now, no need to get your racial purity up. It's just a bit of fun."

"This has nothing to do with racial purity," the Narn growled. "This is an insult to Narn identity, and to Narn honesty in trade. I paid sixty credits for… this. _Sexxxplorer VIII: Agent X-69 Does Narn_. I quote the advertisement: 'Dana La Lear takes it lizard-style! Hard-core unsimulated Narn sex! No holograms, no messing! Banned in eight systems!'

"And what is the true content? Forty minutes of a human female having uninspired sexual congress with three human males in cheap rubber Narn masks. There was not even any attempt made to make them up below the neckline! I was prepared for a certain exoticisation, I was even willing to tolerate the usual 'angry, animalistic Narn' stereotype. But this?" The Narn looked about him and spotted two grey-uniformed security officers on patrol a few hundred metres away. He theatrically raised his voice. "This is shameless and blatant fraud, here on this station! Tolerated by your military authorities!"

Max was annoyed by the delay, and a little amused by the defrauded Narn's outrage. But he had to admit to a certain admiration for the alien's perfect, cultured and mellifluous English. He congratulated himself on recognising a fellow linguist, despite the man's species status.

The vendor looked at the oblivious security officers in alarm. "OK, OK. Now I wouldn't normally do this, but just because I like your face, I'll give you… thirty? Back." The Narn subsided angrily but with resignation. "Word to the wise, though. You look like an upmarket sort of bloke, you really don't wanna see any real xeno stuff. You don't wanna imagine what kind of woman's willing to really do it with an alien. Broke-down, dead-eyed, skanky, drugged-out…"

The Narn suddenly lunged at the vendor and grabbed him by the shirtfront, glaring at him furiously. In a terrifyingly quiet voice he said "I will overlook the implied insult to my race. But you will take back what you just said about several human women of my acquaintance, who are intelligent, attractive, and of far more integrity than you."

Max had been about to flee the imminent violence as discreetly as he could, but he suddenly realised the implications of the alien's words. He approached the two struggling men and spoke as calmingly as he could. "There is really no need for this to end in violence. Gentlemen, do you not realise that if we pool our resources we have the opportunity to make a great deal of money?"

The others froze and looked at him curiously. He addressed the Narn. "You know high-class women who'll do xeno?"

The Narn released the vendor and looked at him with a certain aloofness. "I admit that most of my liaisons here have been… professional. But the people involved are quite wealthy and elevated enough in their profession to be able to refuse anything that struck them as a… what is it in English… ah yes, deal-breaker." He smiled at Max's surprise. "This is a free port in the depths of space. It attracts courageous people who have no fear of genuine…" He looked into Max's eyes and let his voice drop a little. "… exploration."

Max backed away hastily and turned to the vendor. "Don't you see? There are people… well, there's me, probably our friend here, certainly many others, who would pay thousands for high-production-value genuine xeno vids. You've got the contacts, our friend here's got the leading ladies." He eyed the Narn appraisingly. "Maybe we’ve even got the leading man."

The Narn chuckled. "An attractive offer, but I have responsibilities that would make it highly ill-advisable. I could, however, I am sure, find Narn who would be perfectly willing to participate. But I must check with my acquaintances to make sure that they would be willing to perform for an audience." He grasped the vendors arm. "I will contact you if there is an opportunity. Farewell." He bowed to Max and the vendor, then seemed to remember something. "My thirty credits?" The vendor, with ill-grace, passed a credit chip across, and the Narn walked briskly away.

The vendor gaped at Max. "Were you two freaks serious? I could end up inside for doing real xeno." He shuddered. "If the mob didn't do me first." He began to hurry away. Max grabbed his arm.

"Now don't even think of wasting my time. I have a handheld viewer, and I expect to try the merchandise first. Unlike the lizard, I have no illusions about the kind of pigs that are likely to be involved." He stared at the vendor until the man broke his gaze. "Have you got any real, hard, tentacle shit?"


End file.
